Last night, I dragged a friend to a one-man show about the social history of defecation and its effects on the planet and ultimately, our bodies. I know, she’s a really good friend. While I’m not a fan of corny Improv-ish humor, the show was short and sweet and quite informative.

The star of the show, Shawn Shafner, touched on the evolution of social pooping etiquette. Archaeological discoveries have caused speculation that certain primitive mountain societies shat where they ate, revealing that there was no shame in their game. The shamelessness slowly evolved into taboo social norms (thanks to the likes of Martin Luther and Queen Victoria), where one was expected to hold their shit in and just sweat it out or something.

Shafner encourages his audience to embrace its poop as not only an extension of our bodies, but as a critical seed in the circle of life (cue Lion King music). He concludes by advocating the advent of the compost toilet as a means of preventing disease and toxic chemicals from polluting our water supply. The proof of this pollution apparently lies in hermaphrodite frogs that have been overly estrogenized and dead shrimp that have overdosed on Viagra.

However, I’m not sure I’ll be shitting in a bucket anytime soon. I personally believe the issue lies more in our over-consumption of chemicals because using a compost toilet implies that residual estrogen and Viagra will be composted back into my life in some shape or form other than the water supply. I’m still not convinced of this as a solution except for countries where there is simply no water supply.

So here’s some food for thought: how about we just stop eating shit?!!