A Rededication

One of my most loyal and dedicated clients always stresses the importance of maintaining a gratitude journal. I don’t like to waste paper, but rest assured, I keep a mental log (pun? yes.)

I am forever grateful to my parents and the opportunity they have afforded me in this country. Both of my parents come from humble beginnings. My father barely escaped communist Cuba and my mother was raised with her three other siblings in a one bedroom apartment sans toilet in Chinatown NYC. Fortunately, my parents met in high school and I (perhaps unfortunately) am the result of that union.

My father’s parents lived with us for the rest of their lives. But before my ass ever entered this world, my grandparents first worked their asses off in different factories right here in New Jersey. My dad somberly recalls my grandfather returning from the handbag factory every night curled over in pain due to strenuous work and his underlying Crohn’s disease. He ultimately had to have sections of his intestines removed in two separate surgeries and was unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like a beer with chicarrones (you Cubans know what I’m talking about!).

I have clients who have Chrohn’s disease, an inflammation of the digestive tract. While many doctors advise against colonics for those who suffer from Chrohn’s, I can only speak from my experience with said clients that despite the inability to cure the disease, colonics have helped alleviate their symptoms.

That said, I wish so badly that my grandfather never suffered. I don’t think he would have let me give him a colonic, but I hope those suffering from Chrohn’s disease today keep an open mind to a simple anal water flush. I’ve always dedicated my blog to my clients, specifically my females. But in my rededication, I wish to include my grandfather and all people suffering from inflammatory bowel disease.

xoxo jen

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My dad and Abuelo.
Categories: Colonics, Digestive Issues Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Monsters Inside Me Season Premiere!

No, I don’t get excited for Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Homeland, Modern Family, House of Cards, or vampire shit…

I do however, get excited for the Real Housewives, Shark Tank, anything on ID network AND most of all……

Monsters Inside Me

You may think I just have bad taste in television programming, but I beg of you to watch the two hour season premiere of Monsters Inside Me airing on the Animal Planet at 8pm this week…you may or may not regret it…

Categories: Digestive Issues Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Happy Fall!

James Bae, an acupuncturist I used to see regularly when I lived in Brooklyn, is a practitioner of Ayurveda, an ancient, holistic Indian medical system that uses food and herbs as medicine. He would tell me that the Fall is the season for colon cleansing! It had something to do with the change of seasons and as you know, I’m always game for a good Colon Blow.

James would also look at my tongue before we even got started with the needles because in Ayurveda, the tongue is a roadmap to one’s health. It is literally an extension of the digestive tract and different textures, lines, films and shapes can indicate an imbalance in the body.

According to naturopath Caroline Robertson,

Before assessing your tongue it helps to know what a healthy tongue looks like. Likened to a little kitten’s tongue, it is uniformly pink, similar to a skinned chicken. It is oval in shape, neither too thick nor too thin and has an even width. When sticking out it’s naturally straight rather than veering to one side. The tongue of a healthy person will remain still and strong, not quivering, flaccid or stiff. A healthy tongue has a thin transparent or white coating. It displays all taste buds and is free from red or glassy patches, deep cuts and denuded patches. It is neither too dry nor too wet and it doesn’t emit a bad odor or taste. The veins on the underside of the tongue will not be distended or dark.

Any sort of cracks, coatings, patches, raised areas, discolorations or indentations in the center of the tongue and/or the back center of the tongue can indicate some sort of imbalance in the stomach and intestines.

Book your Fall Colon Blow today!

Categories: Colonics, Digestive Issues Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Parasites!

One of my new favorite TV shows I discovered last year when I was home sick one day is called The Monsters Inside Me. This show is definitely not recommended for my hypochondriacs. You will learn first-hand about rare cases of parasite infestations that many times result in neurological disorders and even death. Many of the victims contracted parasites from their travels where they literally found themselves eating shit, stepping in shit and getting the shits.

While I wouldn’t consider myself an avid traveler, I’ve definitely spent sufficient time in the jungle of Costa Rica and in the coastal deserts of Peru and Mexico (suspect areas according to the show). I will never forget my debilitating shitstorm on my first trip to Peru. All night, I was repeating a delicious mango I had eaten but not washed beforehand because it was so ripe the skin had torn. I just peeled it and ate it when I should have tossed it because consequently, I ate some parasites. My last visit to Peru involved some strange stomach aches as well and every night I would contemplate a parasite cleanse upon my return. Ultimately, I never went through with a parasite cleanse and I am glad for that.

According to Dr. Robynne Chutkan (a NY Times best-selling author and gastroenterologist) in her book, Gutbliss,

If you think you have a parasite, it’s always better to get diagnosed and figure out if you really do, and, if so, which specific one. The treatments can differ dramatically, from single-dose over-the-counter cures to weeks of prescription medication. There are lots of natural remedies, too, including things that may already be in your kitchen, like garlic, black walnuts, papaya seeds, and cloves. Wormwood tea is effective against many parasites and can be brewed at home, but it’s not without potential side effects, including sleep disturbances and possible organ damage.

In the absence of a diagnosis, beware of signing up for Internet cures that may or may not work and could have unpleasant side effects you hadn’t bargained on. you may ultimately need to see an infectious disease specialist or someone with expertise in parasitology. Be sure to ask when you make the appointment if they’re familiar with diagnosing and treating parasites.

Additionally, the thought of having dead parasites floating around in my body doesn’t sound appealing nor any healthier than having live parasites. Here are Dr. Chutkan’s “Gutbliss Solutions for Parasites” as listed in her best-selling book, Gutbliss:

If you’re exposed to a parasite, the likelihood of whether it will set up shop in your digestive tract and cause symptoms is, like other types of infections, related in part to how healthy your immune system is.

  • A nourishing diet, lots of rest and exercise, and avoiding chemicals and other toxins are part of creating a healthy immune system and preventing parasites from taking hold.
  • As is the case for bacteria, parasites have a sweet tooth, so limiting starchy, sugary foods can be an important part of preventing or treating a parasitic infection.
  • Maintaining healthy levels of good bacteria in your gut by avoiding unnecessary antibiotics an drugs that change the pH will also help to discourage growth of parasites.
  • Eating a high-fiber diet and taking a daily tablespoon of ground psyllium husk powder cleans out the intestines and can help to remove parasite eggs that may be attempting to make a home.
  • Eating foods rich in vitamin A precursors, such as carrots and sweet potatoes, can help prevent parasitic larvae from penetrating, and raw garlic also has antiparasitic qualities.
  • Parasites can be transmitted from dogs and other pets, so make sure yours are regularly checked for worms and that their feces are properly disposed of. You also need to be on the lookout for whether your pet might be eating the infected stool of other animals, a practice that’s not uncommon among puppies.
  • To avoid coming into contact with infected stool, don’t walk barefoot where animals have been.
  • Wear gloves when gardening and make sure you’re not watering vegetables with a contaminated water supply from a septic tank.
  • Strict hand washing, careful washing of fruits and vegetables, filtering your drinking water, and avoiding raw and undercooked meat are also important preventive tactics. I’ve seen parasites in people doing a juice cleanse who weren’t washing the produce well before juicing it.
  • As much as I love them, salad bars can also be opportunities for contamination of food. One University of California study secretly observed a salad bar and found that over half the diners were in serious violation of the rules, using their fingers to sample the food and committing other hygiene transgressions.
  • Poor sanitation in public or community spaces, especially in places such as nursing homes and day care centers, contributes to the spread of parasites.

Resources: Monsters Inside Me, Gutbliss by Robynne Chutkan, M.D., FASGE

 

Categories: Digestive Issues, Travel Poo Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A Load of Crap.

I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately. Don’t ask me what, but the recurring commercials on my favorite channels are for vaginal mesh class action suits and those for prescription acne medication, Onexton and prescription irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) medication, Linzess. Pharmaceutical commercials are my favorite, especially the part where they whisper all of the side effects like the fine print of a used car commercial, half of which are the same or even worse than the original problem!

First let’s look at Onexton. Aside from bowel trouble, the most worrisome side effect if I were to even consider taking this medication for acne is swelling of the face! Choose: acne or swollen face? The list goes on to include bloody diarrhea, trouble breathing, and rash, none of which are ever of immediate concern when battling acne. I get it. I was on birth control for four years back in college and I could give a shit about blood clots and death as long as I didn’t get knocked up and then knocked out by my parents.

Now let’s look at Linzess. Many of my clients have taken Linzess with varying results. The truth is, this is a new drug and the counterproductive side effects are as follows: gas, abdominal pain, abdominal distention, severe diarrhea and more that are not currently listed on the website. So while you may take the medication because you suffer from gas, abdominal pain, distention and/or severe diarrhea, Linzess could potentially make it worse. Clients and friends of mine whom I’ve known to take Linzess for the most part, find it successful at first, but then its effects wear off and sometimes get worse.

My point of view on prescription drugs is that they are all experimental. In fact, they were most likely tested extensively on animals and you, my friend, are the human trial. You are taking a huge risk just to mask the root issue, which is almost always healed by addressing emotional health, food consumption, and overall lifestyle. If you receive my weekly newsletters, you and I both know that this bitch ain’t taking Linzess…

Linzess

Categories: Digestive Issues, Supplements Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Ringworm is Dead!

So it turns out I just had an eczema rash on my arm coincidentally where my ringworm was years ago. I had started using Athlete’s Foot cream on my rash because Athlete’s Foot, Ringworm and Groin Itch are all the same shit.

Eczema is undoubtedly an internal issue and while the rash was brought on by my first liver cleanse, it gradually disappeared after my second liver cleanse. The Athlete’s Foot cream helped initially, but the rash became so dry and scaly, that it started itching again. And eventually, the red bumps worsened. The Urgent Care I visited two years ago gave me an anti-bacterial ointment for the ringworm that alleviated the itch while preventing any dryness. After a little brainstorming on what natural remedies I could use that have anti-bacterial properties along with a gel-like texture, I suddenly remembered the miracle of Manuka Honey!!

Manuka Honey is the honey you constantly overlook in the health food market because it’s ridiculously expensive. But there’s a good reason for that! Manuka Honey comes from the same tree in New Zealand as Tea Tree oil, which is widely used as an anti-fungal treatment for people and pets alike. Tea tree oil is very potent, which can be detected by its medicinal odor. I was applying tea tree oil to my rash when it first appeared, but it only further irritated it, even after diluting the tea tree oil in some coconut oil. So I spread a thin layer of Manuka Honey over the rash, covered it with a paper towel so that it did not stick to my clothing and secured it with a few hair ties. I left it on overnight for about five days and the rash just disappeared. Even all of the little scabs that developed over the rash fell right off!

So here’s what you need to know when buying Manuka Honey for medicinal purposes. You want to make sure the UMF (Unique Manuka Factor), which is also labeled as “Active” is a minimum of 10. The higher the better because the higher the UMF concentration, the higher the antibiotic effect. I love the brand Wedderspoon because they actually sell individual packets of Manuka Honey Active 16+. The individual packets easily crack open (sans mess) and you can just eat them on the train when you feel like you’re getting sick! I used the packets to quickly spread the honey on my arm without using any utensils. There are many more uses for Manuka Honey, so make sure to keep it in your medicine cabinet!

Ringworm remedy

Categories: Digestive Issues, Life Hacks, Liver and Gallbladder Cleanse Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Castor Oil Pack

I’ve had a bottle of cold pressed Castor Oil sitting in my “medicine” cabinet for literally years now. Clients have told me all about how to use castor oil to alleviate upset stomachs and to encourage bowel movement. It really wasn’t until I did the liver flush that I became motivated enough to go through with the whole Castor Oil Pack thing. The thought of lubing myself up with gooey Castor Oil never sounded the least big appetizing. But ever since my last menstruation episode, my heated herb pack has become my best friend, so I figured, I have half of it down already. And the thought of any liver or gallbladder stones getting stuck scared me into it. Might as well proceed.

The other half (or three quarters) of the Castor Oil Pack consists of lubing your stomach up with super viscous Castor Oil and covering it with a Wool Flannel and then plastic wrap. A heat pack on medium setting should be applied on top of the plastic wrap for at least an hour or two. Be careful, I’ve heard of people burning themselves. That’s why I use a heated herb pack.

The liver flush recommends applying a Castor Oil Pack to the liver while passing the stones to ensure that they travel smoothly. I applied a Castor Oil Pack right before drinking the olive oil concoction. But between drinking epsom salt water and a cup of olive oil mixed with grapefruit juice, there was too much going on to really know if the Castor Oil Pack was really doing anything. However, I tried again last night after feeling pretty crappy these last two days and aside from putting me to sleep, I think it did yield some more spectacular results!

While I thought I perhaps needed another colonic from the liver and kidney cleanse, I believe this Castor Oil Pack dislodged the brick that was making me uncomfortable these last two days. That and drinking more water. I woke up feeling normal and had a satisfying movement after drinking plenty of water. I made sure to drink enough water today, which is both critical during the kidney cleanse and what I struggle with everyday.

I told a client who started the liver flush with me on Day One to drink eight glasses of water a day, to which he responded, “I’ve had about eight ounces of water today.”

Me too, buddy. Me too.

Cheers!

Categories: Digestive Issues, Liver and Gallbladder Cleanse Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Constipated to the Point of Hemorrhoids.

I can sort of imagine what erectile dysfunction feels like. Sort of. I can empathize with the pressure to perform anyway. But I’m not talking sex, I’m talking crap. A self-proclaimed Bowel Movement Coach should never be constipated, right? Unfortunately, hard shit happens. To everyone.

Last week, my trips to the bathroom were anxiety ridden and painful! Not the usual gleeful skip to my loo I am accustomed to. If I wasn’t squeezing out pebbles, I was squeezing out hemorrhoids and monster turds that literally clogged two different toilets on three different occasions. Tommy “Detox” DeVito was not a happy camper, screaming “It is not my new job to unclog your shit from my toilet!” Yes, we have that kind of familial relationship here at Release NYC, where there are four toilets and at almost any given moment, someone is taking a dump. Basically, this is the best place in the world to work.

I started fearing any urgency to poop because all of my straining was giving me a hemorrhoid that hurt! Every time I would poop, it felt like the hemorrhoid would make its grand exit fashionably late. I’ve seen plenty of hemorrhoids in my line of work, so I was not alarmed even when I noticed some light bleeding on the toilet paper. For inquiring minds, hemorrhoids can be unsightly, they can bleed, they can make it difficult to walk and even sit, but they can easily go away with a dab of witch hazel salve as long as the constipation is addressed.

For me, I wasn’t eating anything particularly constipating or out of the ordinary, so I knew it was a matter of dehydration and bacteria imbalance. I made sure to up my water intake and double up on my probiotics. Probiotics strengthen your immune system by supporting an environment of homeostasis where there is a higher ratio of good versus bad bacteria. Too much of the bad stuff forces an inflammatory response, which stresses the body’s defenses and we now know that stress causes constipation. I juiced carrot and celery in the morning when I could and kept my meals liquid-y and fibrous (soups, veggies, whole grains). So basically, I became borderline vegetarian for a week and things started moving. And this is my remedy for rock hard constipation, folks.

Categories: Digestive Issues, Probiotics Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Anal Fissures

A friend recently opened up to me about her problem with anal fissures. Scientifically speaking, anal fissures can happen when a rock hard turd slices one’s asshole. The problem is that every time she’d use the bathroom after that initial tear, the scab would re-open. The act of going to the bathroom hurt so bad that it encouraged her to hold it in. She was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Her doctor advised her to take Miralax, which she became addicted to for years until someone introduced her to juicing. Fresh vegetable juice for breakfast has successfully replaced Miralax for her as a natural alternative. Both offer the same result: softer turds and regularity.

Categories: Digestive Issues Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Water Constipation.

Are you retaining water? I’m not talking about feeling bloated in the traditional sense. I’m talking swollen arms, fingers, legs, and feet. Don’t worry. You’re not fat. You’re just really dehydrated. When your body is starved for hydration, your cells will hang on to whatever fluid is available. This may cause even more problems as the digestive tract is not receiving the proper amount of water needed to efficiently release toxins, causing an even greater inflammatory response. Also, dehydration usually indicates an electrolyte imbalance, which means your body is not only starved for fluid, but specific nutrients (namely potassium and sodium), which can be easily restored by drinking celery juice!

Celery juice is a nutrient rich food, full of organic sodium, potassium, B vitamins, magnesium, and amino acids. I enjoy celery juice mixed with carrot juice, ginger and lemon from the local juice bar. Make sure to drink this concoction on an empty stomach and refrain from eating until you’ve pissed like a racehorse. The five minute urination that follows this drink not only feels fantastic, but causes you to deflate because the proper nutrition you are flooding into your bloodstream finally allows the body to rid itself of unnecessary fluid retention. Drink daily if you can or at least until you feel like yourself again.

 Cheers!

Resources: Health Ambition,  Natural News, Real Food Coach

Categories: Digestive Issues Tags: , , , , , , , ,