A conversation with a client last night shed some more light on why girls are so afraid to go #2 in public. I’ve become so jaded from my work that I easily forget how traumatizing it is for girls to poop in public even around their female peers. My client, a grown woman, is still terrified to poop in the multi-stall women’s bathroom at work for fear of what her coworkers may say behind her back. She explained that if she walked into the bathroom and someone was in one of the stalls, even though she really needed to take a dump, she’d pull the classic move of either blowing her nose or washing her hands and immediately leave the bathroom. Women should not have to suffer like this!

So I want to address the two causes for embarrassment that women fear will make headline news around the office with regards to taking a shit: smell and noise. Smell can easily be remedied by carrying a small bottle of Poopourri in your purse. This all-natural toilet spray is sprayed into the bowl before pooping. The magic happens once you flush. A poof of scented freshness hits the air without the overwhelming allergic response common to most air fresheners. Just make sure to give an immediate courtesy flush as soon as your log hits the water. This helps minimize the smell. Repeat Poopourri directions until you are finished and make sure you take your time. By this point, everyone knows you’re dropping a deuce.  Noise is a little tricker.  You really never know what you’re gonna get when your booty hits the porcelain. My trick is to cough or blow my nose at the point of release. This way, not only is the noise covered, but your body won’t shy away from just letting it all go!

Girls, quit gossiping about who bombed the bathroom earlier. Give your neighbor the high five she deserves and let’s move on.