Yeah you do and so does your boyfriend. Unless you guys think it’s cute to look like you’re expecting, I assure you there are no benefits to holding in your gas.

There is nothing more despicable than a poorly executed fart. I’m not into Dutch Ovens or any sort of loud, smelly varieties. I’m a lady, for God’s sake. In fact, it is advisable to let out small, quiet gulps of air, as if you were slowly releasing the air from your bicycle tires. This can be done silently and odorlessly if you carry a book of matches from your favorite restaurant. If you and your “boyfriend” haven’t quite arrived yet, do him a favor and just leave the room or go to the bathroom for a minute to relieve yourself. He will be grateful.