I’ve made it safely to Lobitos, Peru, but not without any bathroom issues. Bathroom problems only leave room for solutions and blog material, so I welcome a good bathroom challenge. I hope to enlighten you.

Getting to Lobitos entails a 19 hour bus ride from Lima with no bathroom stops, subjecting passengers to the moving toilet on board. The toilet is in very tight quarters and the floor is definitely wet. Your best bet in this situation is to wait for any stops. We had only a few stops on this trip, of which we were only allowed to exit once to use a different bathroom. However, for the less fortunate who must succumb to using the moving toilet, be prepared. You’ll definitely want to carry a natural hand sanitizer made with a natural alcohol that you can find at your local health food store because you do not want to use the nasty water from the sink. Also, be prepared for a lack of toilet paper. Bring in any napkins you can get your hands on from a rest stop or bus station to build your TP toilet seat cushion because you will find yourself sitting on the moving toilet whether or not you want to. The napkins also come in handy as a sort of glove because you will find yourself holding onto the bathroom door handle for stability. Once you are finished with your business, inch yourself as close to the door as possible while holding the handle in case the bus throws you back down onto the now uncovered toilet, and pull your pants up with your loose hand, steering clear of the wet toilet seat. I survived the moving toilet without incident. I definitely do not recommend trying to hover over a moving toilet because it really just adds unnecessary anxiety. And don’t drink the coffee they may serve in the morning because passengers are only allowed to go #1.

Once I arrived in Lobitos, I almost immediately had to take a crap right after lunch. Here at Waves For Development (the organization where I’m volunteering), water conservation is second nature. I’ve been here once before, so I already know the deal with not running the shower water, taking short showers and flushing it down only if its brown. I was quickly punished for flushing the toilet before pooping. I just wanted to have a good first clean dump sans OPP (other people’s piss) splashing back up on my butt since I hadn’t gone the day before. I wasn’t going to make a habit of it. But of course the toilet would not flush. So I disguised my poop with two sheets of toilet paper as a courtesy to my four roommates without knowing that toilet paper cannot be flushed because it clogs the septic system. I only learned that right afterward during orientation. So I tried to stay calm knowing I would possibly have to fish the toilet paper out. I discreetly expressed my concerns to the orientation leader who told me I probably just needed to fill up the tank, which I could easily do with the sink water. Upon returning over an hour later, the toilet flushed with ease, so I didn’t have to worry about that, but it always helps to know what to do in case of a water shortage. If you ever come across a shortage of water, just open up the tank on the back of the toilet and fill it up with water you will probably have to purchase until you see that black balloon thing float. Voila.