Never Wipe Your Ass With Leaves (of Three).
A recent “detox rash” turned out to be a torturous case of poison ivy. Wrapping it up the way I did to cover it only made it spread across my entire forearm! I’ve never had poison ivy before and for whatever reason, thought it was just some mythological beast, despite the memory of my friend in third grade who had a crusty case of it all over her face.
Contracting poison ivy has taught me some valuable life lessons:
1. Poison ivy does exist and it looks like this (the middle leaf has an exposed stem):
2. Don’t touch furry strangers.
3. You probably shouldn’t rub your genitals with anything you find in the woods.
4. Don’t scratch a poison ivy rash. Instead, melt ice cubes on it to take care of the itch.
5. Liver cleanses may or may not cause you to break out in a devastating rash.
For a minute, I was fed up with these liver cleanses and the rashes they seemed to start promising. I will be starting my next one this week for anyone who cares to join!